People have a nasty habit of becoming prisoners of the moment. The newest crazy thing suddenly becomes The CRAZIEST Thing Ever, because hyperbole gets clicks. Readers want their information in easy to consume bite-sized portions and they don’t have the time to sift through nuanced arguments to develop a conclusion. They simply want to know, “what is the best?”, “The weirdest?”, “The most epic?” or “The most cringe-worthy?” so that they can share that key takeaway with their friends and move along to the next shiny object that crosses their view. These people would simply and sarcastically say that the greatest movie title of all time is Sharknado. That it is the apex predator of movie titles, gobbling up lesser film names and dispersing their remains in its fecal matter.
Throughout film history, promoters and marketing agencies alike have understood that a gimmicky name is the fastest and cheapest way to sell a movie to the audience. It's easy to gather a crowd by choosing something tantalizing, like The Day The Sky Exploded, mysterious, like It! The Terror From Beyond Space, or simply making a promise by stating the main attraction, like Cosmic Monsters. They often use dubious adjectives and exaggerated claims to get your attention. Sometimes they attempt a double entendre (Face/Off), a pun (Shanghai Noon), or a portmanteau (Sharktopus). As a name, Sharknado is... okay. It’s evocative. It’s funny. It accurately describes the movie you’re about to watch and sets your expectations accordingly. It’s also not the craziest movie title ever. It’s not even in the top 10. To prove this beyond a doubt, I'm bringing you 12 greater movie titles that will have you shaking your head:
#12: Murdercycle (1999)
A murdercycle is created when a meteor crashes into a CIA hideout and melds a boy’s body with his motorcycle to form the ultimate killing machine. This is not the highest-quality film in the world, but that’s not what we’re here to celebrate now is it? No, we’re merely here to judge a movie by it’s name, and this name fucking rocks. If you want more human/machine hybrids, check out Manborg, The Eliminators, Mutant Hunt, Mandroid, Prototype, The Vindicator, or even Robocop.
Underneath a local strip club lies long forgotten catacombs. Discovered within these catacombs is the Book of the Dead, which one of the strippers uses to accidentally raise an army of zombies. Now the strippers must take action and re-kill all of the undead if they want to save the world (and keep on stripping)! If you like zombies and big tits, then boy are you in luck because Big Tits Zombie does indead have big tits, as well as zombies. You’d think that there would only be one movie like this, but it actually is sort of it’s own genre at this point. For more mostly naked chicks fighting hordes of brain-eating zombies, check out Oneechanbara: The Movie, Oneechanbara: Vortex, Zombies vs. Strippers, Zombie Strippers!, Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!, Stripperland, or the entirely original Strippers vs. Werewolves.
#8: Bring Me The Head Of The Machine Gun Woman (2012)
BMTHOTMGW (as no one calls it) is basically a sexier, funnier, Spanish-ier version of Smokin’ Aces. It’s trying to be Lady Desperado, for lack of a better description. Though the title is clearly referencing the classic Sam Peckinpah flick "Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia", that title manages to feel authentically threatening, while this title takes it over-the-top. Chilean director Ernesto Diaz Espinoza draws inspiration from many classic grindhouse films to make a modern-day exploitation world populated by gangsters, drug dealers, hitmen, and of course the Machine Gun Woman. If you want more like this, just go to Robert Rodriguez’ Mexico trilogy, or either Machetefilm.