We’re 10 minutes in to each film, and Riki-Oh finally gets some offense, by slamming Kung Fu Hustle to the ground, impaling him on a rusty nail sticking out of a wooden board! KFH is stunned, spending the next ten minutes wandering around introducing us to it’s quirky and unique cast of characters. Meanwhile, Riki is tearing off body parts and punching right through KFH’s stomach and disemboweling him! Disgusting, but still a legal maneuver here in the CMOD, where we really don’t value the health or welfare of our participants. As long as there’s an ass every 18 inches, we don’t care what happens to the talent... we’re modeled after the NFL in that way. Every time Riki meets some new, imposing antagonist in this film, he kills him within 2 scenes. The only thing more dangerous than spending the Sabbath murdering your mother and father while taking the Lord’s name in vain and fornicating with your neighbor’s wife, is being introduced to Riki and making eye contact.